Dear Death...

Dear Death:

This is me. I'm growing bigger and stronger every day, but still I feel like I have no place to go. You've seen me before, kicking me out of your house, screaming at me, and I stopped coming around because it felt like you bled out every time I stopped by.

I want to talk to you but you never want to talk back. I don't get it, so I'm just leaving you to be you. Isn't that what you asked for so often?

This is me.

Dear Death:

This is me again. I think we misunderstood each other.

Dear Death:

I'd let you in if I could find the keys, but I'm breaking down inside and out. Sorry, but I can't be having visitors right now, I'm a mess.

Dear Death:

I finally found the keys and my confidence. You left me though, again. Why do you hate being called a loner when you constantly shove people away? Why is that? I told you I wasn't feeling well and you left me again. I don't understand why you drink yourself into oblivion, why you never want to talk, why you hate me for trying and hate me for giving up.

I don't understand you.

I won't be coming around for a while, so please try to forgive me. Other people want me right now, and I tried to be there for you.

Dear Death:

I'm on my way. I swear.

Dear Death:

You got my suicide note didn't you? I'm not really giving up…yet. I want to see you first…because I want you to be the last one to see me.

Dear Death:

I lost love today too. I ran out. I've broken down into little tiny pieces, shattered, bruised, morbid, hateful, spiteful…how can I bring you love when I don't even know what it looks like? I can't find anything anymore. I can't find love. I can't find you. I can't find me. I don't even know who I am.

You know what? I quit. We'll be meeting before too much longer. That way we can say our final words and part on better terms. I'm through avoiding it.

Dear Death:

I want you back too.

--Life