But I...

I wanted to paint forever
But I couldn't find a brush
I wanted to draw the future
But the paper cost too much
I wanted to sketch tomorrow
But my pen ran out of ink
I wanted to sculpt my life
But I couldn't bear to think

So I didn't paint forever
     Draw the future
          Sketch tomorrow
               Sculpt my life
Instead I complained about my wants
     My needs
          My failures
               My strife

I wanted to tell you something
But I couldn't find the time
I wanted to offer you comfort
But it cost too much to chime
I wanted to wipe away your tears
But my hands ran out of room
I wanted to tell you I loved you forever
But I couldn't bear the gloom

So I didn't tell you something
     Offer you comfort
          Wipe away your tears
               Or love you forever
Instead I abandoned you
     I laughed at you
          Toyed with you
               And neglected you

I never told you that you were my brush and forever
Paper and future
Pen and tomorrow
Clay and life

But now it's too late to tell you anything
Comfort you
Wipe your tears
Love you forever


               Because now…I bury you.
               Red, scarred hands and wrists…I bury you.
               Because I abused you…I bury you.
               I bury you.